By Melanie Walker
I have this scar on the side of my right eye that is the remnant of something I was born with called Hemangioma. Though my birthmark was only a problem for the first two years of my life, there is still a visible mark in my adult life that has been the cause for some questions I’ve been asked and even some teasing from strangers.
I could sink my head low, not look people in the eye, and be ashamed of my genetics that have failed me in the perfect DNA make-up supposedly required of women these days. But the truth is, my scar is a symbol for me. I have chosen to look past my scar and see my favorable physical features that make me believe that I am indeed a beautiful woman.
I love my scar, because it shows that not all things in life are perfect and the world is beautiful because of that. I love my scar because it has helped me stand for something— it has enabled not to care what others think of my physicality from the time I was young and to stand up to bullies. I am not my scar. I am also not my scars on the inside.
Scars come in many different forms: heartbreaks, family rifts, broken friendships, addictions, emotional or sexual abuse, failed expectations—you get the point. Whatever your scar may be--
You are not your scars.
Your scars from traumatizing past events, though they may still affect you, do not have to dominate your life. You are so much more than that. Even though they might have hurt, you can still hold your head high and take on many of life’s ironies with class and honor. Scars help us learn and they help us grow—and for that, I love every ugly scar I’ve ever received on the outside and the inside.
Here is how you can love yours:
Write the physical attributes that make you beautiful.
Write the personality attributes that you love most about yourself-- the ones that make you a beautiful person.
Write down the name of someone you need to forgive-- even if it's can be yourself.
List what needs to be done to forgive that person or yourself.
Write a letter to yourself.
Express your love for yourself and your scars. Express it to yourself in writing, verbally, or to someone else.
What do you want to achieve or become and how will you do it?
Share your scars with someone you trust and love.
Talk it through. The more your share your story the more clarity you’ll receive and the easier it will become to move on.
Commit to moving on.
Make a promise to yourself to love yourself, then work at it.
You’ll go much farther in life when you learn to love your scars. Maybe you won’t love the way they look or the personality quirks that they have been the catalyst for, but learn to love them and learn to coexist with them. We’re always taught to see the good in other people—it’s time to see the good in ourselves. You are beautiful. You are worth it. I believe in you.
I will love myself-- and my scars.
(Image via stocksnap.io, by Elisabet Dominguez)