By Melanie Walker
“You can be my wingman anytime.” -Iceman
“Bullsh*t! You can be mine.” –Maverick
Ah, yes. The classic wingman. We’ve all seen him at a club in Vegas: his dude-bro hangs out in the background, drink in one hand, taps you on the shoulder with the other hand, asks you a silly question (How are you this cute and not dancing with my bro already?) as his brosef smiles with his hand strategically placed on his tie. Cheesy as this scenario is, it’s quite endearing to witnesses a true bromance shared between wingmen. They selflessly put themselves out there for their brotastic bestie just so he can score. Aww… it’s actually quite bromantic.
Ladies, I have a very important question for you. Why do we always hear about wingmen, but we never hear about wingwomen? Is there some sort of DNA strand that developed in our middle-school-developing-bodies that debilitates us from helping our sistas score? Do we really have to be immature enough to want all the glory for ourselves still? Why is it so engrained in females to be in competition with each other—even our friends? Men don’t seem to mind. So why should we?
Here’s my new rule for all my Spice Sisters: Learn how to be a good wingwoman and help a lady out.
Oh, don’t know how to because archaic misogynistic undertones in society have told us from the get-go that we should put misters over sisters? Let me help you out here.
All is Fair in Love
Okay, so your friend met this really, really cute gent at a party that you didn’t go to because you had a date with Talenti gelato and Netflix (I’m not judging, I’m just speaking from experience). She brings him over for your gang’s movie night and he is pretty much up there with Tom Hiddleston. Pop quiz: should your first thought be about how happy you are for your friend and how much she deserves this? Or should you secretly plot how you will make yourself “the hot friend” and make him want you?
Answer: be happy for your friend! When your friend brings over her new boo, highlight her best stories and best personality traits—like the time she said that really funny joke on that super adventurous trip you went on when she was wearing her super classy and smoking bikini. Your time will come around to meet your Tommy Hiddle, and spoiler alert: “Do unto your wingwomen as you would have them do unto you” –somewhere in the Sister Scriptures.
Compliment Your Wingwoman
Here is a script of mine I give you permission to use:
Scenario: You’re in a social group circle with your wingwoman, her love interest, and a few more peeps.
You: “__(wingwoman’s name)__, you look so pretty today!”
Your wingwoman: Oh thank you!
You: “Guys,” [Looks around the group and makes direct eye contact with love interest] “Doesn’t __(wingwoman’s name)__ look so pretty today?”
Everyone: Yes, you really do!
Compliment your wingwoman. Tell her that her hair looks beautiful in front of her target. Put her on a pedestal when you get the chance to be alone with her target. Ladies, build your friends up instead of tearing them down. And be sincere about it.
Step In and Peace Out
Know when you need to step in. It could be when that conversation is awkward or slow between your wingwoman and her man and they need a buffer. Maybe she’s shy and you need to help her feel more comfortable. Maybe you need to be the idiot that does that Spongebob impersonation on the pool table so they can have something to laugh about together. Whatever it is, be aware of your wingwoman and help her out.
With that, know when to peace out. Maybe it’s best if you find something else to do if they’re about to watch Ghost or Sleepless in Seattle. We’ve all had that friend before… don’t be that friend.
Nothing’s wrong with going out to meet some men! As long as you’ve established that it’s not a GNO (Girl’s Night Out), because absolutely NO man is allowed to mess with the GNO, then head out to a dance club or a social event downtown and meet some strapping gentlemen. Have fun with it.
Sharing is Caring
Rule of thumb: if you’re going to be a good wingwoman for your girlfriends, you need to have good wingwomen too. Take one for yourself every once in a while and expect your wingwoman to hook it up for you as well. Communicate with your wingwoman, tell her what you need or want her to do, then sit back and enjoy the magic of the wingwoman.
Don’t be the friend that always helps her friends out and never helps herself, or the friend that takes and takes and never helps her friends. Ladies, trust me. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Now that you have your instruction manual, put on those heels and slay—this time, with your girlfriends. Go get em’ you sexy tigresses.