By Danielle Gorman
The newest season of The Bachelorette started a few weeks ago and this season is looking like it won’t disappoint in the drama department (I expect nothing less from the producers who prod the contestants into fights, and the editors who make you think people hate each other when they’ve actually never spoken to one another). JoJo, The Bachelorette, is already up against some freakishly huge hunks of men in this testosterone-filled season of love.
But that’s where the problems begin—love. The show claims to help people fall in love, but I disagree. For every successful Bachelor/Bachelorette story you can find seven broken engagements, 4 lawsuits, and 3 public apologies for disorderly behavior. The show genuinely brings out the worst in people; it’s like a drug being pumped into the air that makes totally rational people become drama-crazy, violent jerks who want to back-stab everyone and their mother for a chance at a one-on-one date.
Confusing Lust and Love
It happens every season—they instantly click on the first night, and it’s like fire every time they’re together. If it doesn’t fizzle out during the duration of the show, and they make it to the end, we often find that they’ve burned out the relationship in the 3 months following filming, or a year later it pops up on the news: “Bachelorette breaks up with hunk from season 10.”
Why does this happen? You spend 3 months with someone and think you’re in love, but are you? How can you know what love is until you do the little things? Grocery shopping, getting lost on the way to the restaurant, arguing about dishwashers—it’s the ordinary things of life that make you stay in love. Anyone can fall in love when they’re jet-setting around the world, taking helicopter rides to mountain tops or drinking champagne inside a castle where the ground is sprinkled with rose petals. Staying in love means living through the annoying habits and stupid moments without leaving. Lust is purely physical and the result of feeding each other fruit on a beach at sunset before heading off to roll in the metaphorical hay; love is holding hands while you drive two hours to the nearest IKEA to get furniture for your first apartment together, knowing you want to spend the rest of your life as a team.
When Entertainment/Shock Value Overrides Sincerity
Take, for example, a recent episode where JoJo took the men on the group date to a “sex talks” performance. JoJo claimed that talking about intimacy is important in a relationship—and it is. But intimacy is also private. Let me stress that again, private. Parading it around, turning it into a joke, and making people uncomfortable for the sake of discomfort takes away the sacredness and beauty of it. But because sex is controversial, the producers decided to throw the men into the deep end and get the most out of their embarrassment.
Getting Caught Up in the Attention (of the cameras)
I don’t want to spend a lot of time on this one because it’s the most ridiculous thing about the show. For heaven’s sake--do not lie your way into a relationship and drag the vulnerable girl or guy along just for a bit of airtime every week. If you really want attention that badly, do it through the Internet; you could become a vlogger on Youtube without forcing your way into someone else’s life and still receive the attention you so desperately seek.
Forgetting to See Through the Smokescreen of Stylists and Free Vacations
The show is made to appeal to people’s fantasies. For that to be the case, everything must be perfect. The women must be shapely and beautiful without a hair out of place. The men must be muscular, suave, and charming (or cutely funny, at the very least). They almost never see each other bare-faced or in sweats. And that’s real life. Real life is going three days without showering because you can’t be bothered. Real life is morning breath. Real life is the Holiday Inn outside Mesa. Real life is farts. Real life is waxing off your unibrow. Real life is NOT perfect outfits, perfect hair, and perfectly FREE vacations. Contestants tend to forget that until their released back into a world without sequined dresses and helicopter transportation.
These were my thoughts on The Bachelorette—what are yours? Do you love the show? Hate it? Think its garbage, but are addicted nonetheless? Does anyone want to discuss the train-wreck that is Chad? Let us know in the comments.